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SergeantLuke

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Recent Movie Reviews

118 Movie Reviews

Heh, yeah, I know that feeling! This wasn't particulalry well-animated, but it was a cute little joke.

"A Legend of Zelda parody on Newgrounds" is a phrase on par with "A grain of sand on the beach", but this one is most definitely a cut above the pack! I'm frankly amazed at all of the clever and fresh jokes you've managed to squeeze out of a 15-year-old game.

The "I want you inside me" gag could've ended up feeling obvious and tired, but the ludicrous animation of the Great Deku Tree saved it and made me legitimately laugh (as did the utterly brilliant moment where Link saves himself by using an actual N64 controller!). Even the little, throwaway jokes, like Navi inexplicably being a chubby, husky Brooklynite (perhaps a nod to how she's usually presented as slim and sexy?) managed to make me laugh because they were just so well-presented. You've impressed me a great deal!

Anything related to Calvin and Hobbes is an instant win in my book, so this was a sight for sore eyes indeed. You got the colors down pat, and the old boys looked great in motion!

My only real complaints are the ones you couldn't control: that it was so short (it ended just as the music was getting especially funky! But, of course, that was all of the material you could work with), and that there was a fairly visible distinction between Watterson's original drawings and your added frames (but that's hard to avoid when there are two separate artists working on something). All that hardly detracts from the main work!

Recent Game Reviews

74 Game Reviews

An absolutely spot-on tribute! You can even see the shadows of the sprites on the screen, just like the real thing! It's a very simplistic game, to be sure, but then again, these kinds of games really couldn't be any more complex than this.

ChrisKempt responds:

Thanks dude :) Glad you liked it. Sometimes I wish all games could be this simple!

I really hate giving a mediocre score to a game that clearly had so much time and effort spent on it, but man, Road of the Dead 2 just disappointed the hell out of me. I was already nervous when I saw it on the front page, as I thought that the first game was so great that nothing could possibly improve on it. Sadly, I was proven right: plenty of content is added to this sequel, but all of it only detracts from everything that made the original so fantastic.

On the one hand, I do have a certain appreciation for the game's premise, as the protagonists being soldiers allows for some fun minor callbacks to the first game, like the same radio conversations reappearing. But the soldier premise also, unfortunately, undermines the feeling of desperation and terror that the first game had. One single man driving a haphazardly-upgraded civilian car feels much more vulnerable than two soldiers driving an army Jeep with a whole horde of weapons in tow. The voice acting here is basically on par with the original, in terms of sound and acting quality, but I liked the first character a lot more. Sure, he had a lot of goofy lines and was totally flat (I'll confess I've completely forgotten his name), but his solitude and desperation still shone through, and you really got the sense that you were totally alone and had nobody to fall back on. It seems like this game's trying to give you that same sense, seeing as the sound design is just as chaotic and freaky, but you really can't feel scared when you have backup and loads of spare ammo.

The gameplay upgrades only make the game feel unfocused. The original's design was properly focused on the car, the title being "Road of the Dead" and all; you had barely any weapons and only used them as a last resort, with your true main weapon being the car itself as it plowed down zombies and soldiers at breakneck speeds. That was my favorite part of the game: Gathering up a ton of speed and getting into a long combo chain of demolished undead! But in the sequel, you can never go above 20 MPH (at least, it feels that slow) because you're always stopping every few feet. And once you do, you have to wait for your partner to slooooooooowly go to work at repairing the car or gathering ammo (how long could that possibly take, anyway?) while you shoot at zombies that are too damn hard to kill. If I had a penny for every time I got devoured by a zombie jumping into my car, I'd have a thousand dollars, and I only played the game for less than an hour.

At first, I figured that I'd only need to stop if I was running especially low on ammo or if the car was especially damaged, but I soon came to realize that happened ALL THE TIME! You basically need to stop at every single building, because if you don't, you will almost immediately run out of ammo, and since it's so hard to get up to an acceptable speed, you won't be able to kill enemies with your bumper and you WILL get eaten.

Like I said, there was clearly a lot of love poured into this game, and the presentation - music, graphics, voice acting, features - is absolutely top-notch. I do like that you've included a level creator mode, which if you ask me, is something nearly every game should carry by now! I regret that I'm judging it primarily based on its predecessor, but regardless of my reservations, Road of the Dead 2 just doesn't come together.

Oh man, that awful music is gonna be in my head all day! Still, there's an option to turn it off, so I guess I won't knock that against you.

I'd expect something called "Angry Gran Toss" to at least be good for a laugh, but it isn't very funny and certainly isn't a very fun game. Toss games in general feel pointless now that Toss the Turtle has been out forever and clearly proven itself as the best there is, but any other one can still be fun if done well. Angry Gran Toss isn't done well. It's utterly riddled with slowdown, no doubt a result of the unnecessary amount of extras, and even without all the visual choppiness, it's just a sloooooow game. I never felt like I was launching Gran that far at all, even after buying some upgrades, and easily the worst part is how Gran just STOPS DEAD the minute she hits the ground. There's no sense of momentum; she should bounce around for a while, but she just goes splat and does a few half-hearted hops like a fish out of water. Very disappointing.

Recent Audio Reviews

27 Audio Reviews

This is so fantastic, I can't think of a single way to improve it! It's amazingly catchy, wonderfully upbeat, and with so many different sections and components that swap at juuuust the right moments, I could listen to it for hours.

I love how upbeat this is! It makes me smile. It's fairly repetitive, but it's catchy too, and that's all that really matters, isn't it?

Even if it's just a Deadmau5 song, I still like what you've done with it. The sound of the main melody makes me happy! :)

Recent Art Reviews

16 Art Reviews

I'm no closer to figuring out what the hell this guy is, but I rather like it all the same. He looks like something out of a particularly grumpy Adult Swim show: ugly, freakish, immediately unlikeable, and exactly the sort of person you want to laugh at.

JohnnyUtah responds:

GOOGLE HIM BRAH

I hope you know, you've become a minor meme on Tumblr. "DON'T LOOK UP FAIRY POKEMON ON GOOGLE IMAGES" is the buzz phrase of the day.

As for the picture itself... mmmmmmmmmm. I'm impressed with the way you accurately rendered both series' style and managed to make them mix well, but... I just can't condone anything that mines the sexual assault of the defenseless for laughs. So I give you half.

ManDemolition responds:

You actually have no idea how much that made my day. I'm pretty much laughing like a drunk hyena right now.

As far as a score goes, it's a fair justification. It was made to provoke a response, and not necessarily a good one. Then again, that's what I find funny about it.

Great Cerebella! She's so damn cool. I love her self-satisfied expression and the poses of the hands, although the left one (her left, not the viewer's) has some mildly mishapen fingers.

Alright, worms! I've got a lot of time to spend, and I don't want it wasted! Now go make something that impresses the hell out of me, and I MIGHT give you 3 stars! Make the best damn thing I've ever seen, and you get 4! What? 5 stars? BWAHAHA! DREAM ON!

Luke Schwiebert @SergeantLuke

Age 28, Male

Joined on 12/15/07

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